It is a queer affair

Today is Wear It Purple day – supporting young gay people at risk. At risk of what some of you might wonder? How about one of the scariest facts that your sexuality – that your desire to share a relationship with a human being – can expose you to. Gay youth are THREE times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual people of a similar age. Consider that in the context that for young people, suicide is the biggest cause of death. Or what about that 38% of gay people have experienced discrimination; 50% have experienced verbal abuse & sadly, 74% of this abuse happens at school.

To me, the argument of whether you are gay or not is completely moot (see my previous post “Are gay parents good enough?”). Let us strip it down to it’s barest components before i talk about the basis for this insane and extremely damaging prejudice. It is the human body’s natural desire to seek companionship. From an evolutionary perspective, we survived if we were able to form groups with other people in order to share resources, knowledge and skills. From this we also know that sexual desire is something we are biologically set to experience – it means that we are able to pass our genes on for the next generation. Given these ideas though, some may argue that same-sex attraction is a perversion of the natural order – that because you can’t procreate that there is something inherently wrong with you. Consider this then if you are pondering over what traits would be desirable within a future community.

Same sex attracted who have all the capacity to be important, contributing individuals or,

Heterosexual individuals who possess a dangerous combination of ignorance and intolerance?

To be same sex attracted is to be different sex attracted. It is a pure, human desire to both sexually and psychologically desire to yearn for the intimate contact of someone you are attracted to. How dare heterosexual couples think that they have the monopoly on what it means to have a meaningful relationship that is based on love, companionship, trust and shared experience. It is not for me – or for any other straight individual – to be able to say that because our experience is the majority one, that it is more right or more appropriate than that of a gay couples. Still don’t think i’m right? Let’s extrapolate that reasoning then…

A dislike of homosexual couples comes from a number of sources. Let us start with the easiest. We tend not to like things which we ourselves do not believe in. That is a perfectly valid point of view – i would doubt that many of us show any support to terrorism. But i have heard the muttered-comment of many a straight (often men) about a gay person in their presence as:

“Well i don’t kiss dudes, so i sure as hell don’t know why he would want to. It’s  so wrong”

Sure that is almost a valid point. I for one would not be a big fan of kissing another guy. But where the validity of the above point falls down is when you apply it to situations like:

“Well i don’t base jump, so i sure as hell don’t know why he would want to. It’s so wrong”

Unfortunately these prejudiced individuals don’t actually apply their reasoning consistently do they? No. Their argument doesn’t ever really extend to many other things they themselves don’t approve of. This example exposes that kind of reasoning for the lie it is. Nothing more than an attempt to disguise prejudice in a way that seeks social approval by disguising it in a form that other people may also relate to. I agreed with that above statement because i don’t want to kiss another guy, but if someone else does then knock yourself out! I also would never base jump, but if you want to then please DON’T knock yourself out!

I want you to consider then that we live in a world where gay people are accepted. Just think about what that might mean to the teenage boy or girl who is repeatedly attacked – both physically and psychologically – because of whose hand they would most like to hold. Imagine yourself in a situation where something you care a lot about becomes the bane of the worlds existence and then imagine people finding what ever way they could to ridicule and hurt you for that. Every day of your life, you are made to feel inadequate as a human being for something you have no control over and have in fact, just been born with.

Now what if i were to tell you that a world where gay’s are accepted already exists? Don’t believe me? What do you think of lesbians? I would guess that you, like most of western world are either positively deposed (particularly if you are a guy) or neutral towards 2 girls holding hands or more likely, kissing. The vast majority of my female friends have kissed other girls – often to the excited delight of onlookers. This happened a lot at school, with no repercussions for the females (except for perhaps more guys asking them out). I can’t even imagine what would  have happened had 2 guys kissed and what would have happened to them. Again the situation is one of inconsistent attitudes. And when inconsistent attitudes exist we can know that the belief is not an intrinsic one but rather something that is formed and shaped and something that is mindlessly clung to despite all the reasons to stop.

Take home message? Young, gay people are killing themselves. A lot. And those that are not are suffering through more pain than probably many of us can imagine. It is unnecessary, it is devastating and it is horrendous what they have to suffer. Stop caring so much about who someone wants to go on dates with and care a bit more about the billion of other things in this world your attention could be better used for. If you are gay and have read this then know that the “it gets better” campaign is wrong. It is already getting better.